TMJC 2022 J1 Year-End Examination GP Bulletin

1 General Paper Bulletin 2022 (JC 1) Dear TMJC students, welcome to the year-end issue of TMJC’s GP Bulletin for 20 22. We bring you yet another selection of the essays written by your schoolmates during the recent Year-End Examination. Thanks to th e students who have contributed their essays. While these essays are not perfect or model essays, there is a lot of merit in them, and they are clear evidence that good quality writing is possible under exam conditions. While reading these essays, you may find some of the content useful for application to other questions; do be judicious in using such information in a manner that is relevant to the question you are answering. Lastly, you should not attempt to copy and hand them in as your own . Editorial Team Mdm Aslindah Ms Jacqueline Tan Mrs Annie Clayton Mr Max Cheong Contents Q1: ‘Too much emphasis is placed on physical appearance in today’s world.’ Is this a fair comment? …………...... 2 Q4. To what extent does social media shape the way we see the world? ..........................................................… 4 Q6. Is there still a place for movie theatres in today’s world? ……………………. ……………………………………………..….... 7 Q12: Are harsh punishments ever justified?........................................................................................................ 9

2 Q1: ‘Too much emphasis is placed on physical appearance in today’s world.’ Is this a fair comment? Sample Essay Marker’s Comments Since the dawn of time, physical appearances have always been emphasised heavily. Physical appearances would refer to one’s outward appearance, in terms of physical features and clothing choices. It is irrefutable that the importance of physical appearances is largely due to the fact that humans, of course, are social creatures, and outward appearances are what allows one to forge and maintain good relations. In recent times, arguments have been brewing, stating tha t “too much emphasis” is placed on physical appearances, with the increasing popularity of various dietary choices, changing of fashion choices as well as the promotion of many other products that focus solely on improving one’s outward appearances. I am i nclined to believe that this is true of today’s world, in spite of the various arguments against this. Clear Stand: A clear stand is stated, together with the accompanying preview of points. Contextualisation: Context of today’s world is tackled with clear sign posts like “in recent times” and “with the increasing popularity”. Suggestions for Improvement: Could have started with a hook/an example of a celebrity or influencer who is popular due to his or her physical appearance to make it more interesting. Dietary choices of today’s world have evolved drastically due to the increased emphasis. Good dietary choices and food intake are most certainly paramount in ensuring physical wellbeing. This statement I wholly believe in. However, today’s world has painted a false and seemingly unreachable image of what a “healthy” body looks like, be it slim waists, thigh gaps or an unnaturally fatless stomach. This image although idealistic and unrealistic, is still what many would pursue, such that they experiment with various questionable dietary options that may not be suitable for them, leading to a multitude of health implications. For instance, there was a vastly spread “diet” that was supposed to ensure weight loss by creating the illusion of “fullness”. This diet consisted of taking a cotton ball, dipping it in orange juice and finally, consuming it. However, this could lead to intestinal blockages and was most certainly insufficient in meeting one’s daily caloric intake. Hence, I agree that too much emphasis is placed on physical appearances, as made clear by the increasing frequency of extreme diets. Quality of Topic Sentences: The topic sentence is quite clear despite not being the starting sentence. Understanding of POC: The POC is addressed, as seen in how negative the impacts are when people adopt these diets. Relevance of Examples: The example is valid and fairly well elaborated though it could be better if the actual name of the diet was provided and the source of the subsequent medical research findings cited. Contextualisation: There is clear contextualisation with the signpost “today’s world”. Suggestions for Improvement: See above on “Relevance of examples”. Fashion trends are also drastically changing, in terms of clothing and physical features. The concept of perfection in physical appearances is ever-changing, this is due to varying public opinions and differences in the viewing of “perfection”. As such, trends are varying from day to day. There are of course people who attempt to kee p up with these rapidly evolving trends, splurging money to purchase the latest designer fashion or even on procedures to further enhance their looks. This unsustainable spending can cause an ordinary person huge financial burden if one is not careful. For instance, the “Korean Wave” hit the world on an immense scale, promoting Korean fashion and even physical features, placing them on a glorified pedestal, causing millions to dump their money into buying these clothing and even go under the knife to appear “more Korean”. One example would be Oli London, who was initially a generic man from the United Kingdom. After being influenced by this wave, he proceeded to splurge thousands of dollars undergoing surgeries and procedures, as well as purchasing Korean fa shion items. In spite of him being able to financially supply himself, he claimed that he never felt happy and satisfied with himself, after chasing the “depiction of perfection” for so long. Hence, I agree that there has been too much emphasis placed on o utward appearances, such that many spend Quality of Topic Sentences: A rather vague topic sentence as it is not clear how fashion trends affect physical features. Understanding of POC: Again, the POC is addressed through the depiction of how money is spent in an unsustainable way in order to keep up with these trends. Relevance of Examples: More details could be given on what exactly this “Korean Wave” entails in terms of fashion. Also, the example of Oli London sounds rather extreme and isolated. Contextualisation: There is a link to the current context though it needs to be justified/explained why such trends change so rapidly.

3 unsustainably in the pursuit of an ever -changing trend that leaves them unsatisfied and depressed in the end. Suggestions for Improvement: Perhaps more could be said on the mental and emotional impacts of the failure to look good despite following these trends. The heavy emphasis on physical appearances is also present in the vast field of jobs and opportunities. It is so prevalent that physical appearances have become even more vital in terms of securing a financially-stable source of income, as often times interviewers tend to seek out the more attractive and prese ntable people, though they may be devoid of the skills required for the job. This causes those who are truly skilled to falter and fall behind in society, solely because of their unappealing physical appearance. Hence, I agree that too much emphasis is pla ced on one’s physical appearance today, as even appearances can be a key determinant in deciding the fate of an individual in the jobs and opportunities sector. Quality of Topic Sentences: Clearly stated at the beginning. Understanding of POC: Though addressed, it needs to be made clearer why companies hire more physically attractive people. Relevance of Examples: A general and hypothetical example. Contextualisation: Is the