DHS Y4 English_Personal Voice (with student samples)

DUNMANHIGHSCHOOLYear42022EnglishLanguagePersonalVoiceinWriting PERSONALVOICE 1. Whatispersonalvoiceinwriting? Let’stakealookatwhatthewritingassessmentrubricssay. Highlightwordsandexpressionsthatindicatewhat“personalvoice”is. Band1(14-15m) ● Overall,theanswerdemonstratesaconfident‘personalvoice’withassuredcontrolandrangeofexpressionthroughout. ● Someerrorsmayoccur, butthesearefewanddonotimpedemeaninginanyway. ● Ideasarecommunicatedwithconfidenceandconviction. Band2(11-13m) ● Overall,theansweriswell-controlledandexpressedwithsomeevidenceofbreadthofsentencestructureandvocabulary. ● ThedegreeoftechnicalaccuracywilldeterminethemarkwithintheBand,buterrorswillberelativelyminor. ● Thereisacoherentoverallstructure. ● Responseissecurethroughoutandmorethangenerallycompetent(Band‘C’),butlackingthequalityandassuranceofBand‘A’. Y4EL2022/Essay/Term3/JoshuaSng Page1

Band3(8-10m) ● Overall,theanswerischaracterisedbyagenerallevelofcompetence. ● Theremaybesomeambition,buterrorsdetractfromtheoverallclarityofexpression. ● Answersawarded8willlackconsistentclarityasaresultoffrequenterrorsandunsureorlabouredexpression. ● Ideascanstillbediscernedwithouttheexaminerhavingtoconstruethemeaning. Band4(4-7m) ● Overall,theanswerischaracterisedbygeneralfaultsofexpression,includingspellingorgrammarorpunctuation. ● Notallofthesemaybepresent,butthemeaningisnotsecurelycommunicated. ● ThedegreetowhichthisoccurswilldeterminethemarkawardedwithintheBand. ● Somere-readingmayberequiredbytheexaminer, butideascanthenbededuced. Band5(0-3m) ● Overall,theanswerischaracterisedbyheavyincidenceoferrors,resultinginseverebreakdownofmeaning. ● Theexaminermayneedtore-readtheanswerinordertounderstandanyessentiallineofthought,butnoideasmaybededuced. ● Award0markifnothingintheanswermeetsanyofthecriteria. Y4EL2022/Essay/Term3/JoshuaSng Page2

2. Whatispersonalvoiceinanutshell? ● AssuredWriting o Completecontrolofvocabulary, sentencestructures,organisationofideasandcontent,andaccuracyoflanguage. ● ConfidentWriting o Confidenceisdemonstratedinyourstyleofwritingandtheamountofknowledgeyouhaveaboutthetopicyouarewritingabout.Confidenceisskilledargumentation. ● ConvictedWriting o Youhavechosenatopicandpromptyoufeelstronglyabout.Thereispersonalinvestmentinyourwriting,Theessayyouhavebirthedisnotjustataskyouhavecompleted.Itisnotachorethathastobedone.Itisanextensionofyourself. ● *UniqueWriting o Itiswritingthatcouldhaveonlybeencreatedbyyou. *Notstatedexplicitlyintherubricsbutsomethingthatallteachersofwritinghopefortheirstudents😊 Y4EL2022/Essay/Term3/JoshuaSng Page3

TextA Readthesampleofstudentwritingbelowandidentifyevidenceof(1)assuredness, (2)confidence, (3)conviction, and(4)uniqueness. Inwhatwaysaremajorglobalcrisesaffectingyoursociety? Observations Accordingto US biologistBarry Commoner, ‘theenvironmentalcrisisis a globalproblem,andonlyglobalactionwill resolveit’. This is applicablenot only toenvironmentalcrises,buttoglobalcrisesinvariousaspects.Globalcrisisis a timeof intensedifficultyor dangerthataffectscoun