2023 SASS EL Prelims P1 SectB Ans

ST. ANDREW’S SECONDARY SCHOOL MARKER’S REPORT Subject: English Examination: Prelim Level/Stream: Sec 4E/5N Setter: Sujatha Marker: TYH/LSF Year: 2023 General Comments Paper 1 Section B: Situational Writing WRITING TIPS: USING ‘PAC’ For situational writing, students are required to use the visual text as a stimulus and write a text that suits the purpose, audience and context of the situation given in the question. To effectively do that, you must put yourself in the shoes of the person you are writing to. Ask yourself: • What is the PURPOSE of writing this text? What is the goal that you want to achieve? What reaction or response do you want from the reader? • Who is the AUDIENCE of this text? Who are you writing to? Is it a friend, family member, teacher, school principal or someone you do not know? • In what CONTEXT are you writing this text? What is the situation presented to you in the question? What are the circumstances affecting you and the reader at this point of time? “PAC” determines the register and tone that you should be using in your writing. “Register” refers to the style of language suitable for a particular situation and “tone” refers to the expression of the writer’s attitudes and feelings. Read the question carefully and think about the purpose, audience and context of the text, as well as the register and tone it requires. Question Analysis Criteria Points Identity (I) Class Chairman Purpose (P) To present ideas you have gathered for graduation and explain how each suggestion will contribute to the significance (special and memorable) of the occasion. Audience (A) Principal Context (C) Since it is a graduation event, as a Class Chairman, you want to play your part in making the graduation event a special and memorable one. Tone (T) Polite and enthusiastic tone Format (F) Formal letter

Criteria Points Language ● Use of conjunctions and connectors to show sequence, reason, contrast or consequences. ● Rule of 3 ● Parallel sentence structure, ● Use of modals to show formality and politeness e.g. Perhaps, you would like to…/ it would be good if you could…/Perhaps you could consider… ● It is written in clear, accurate English. ● The "register" (i.e. the level of language) is formal. For example, there should not be short forms such as "didn’t" and no colloquial language such as "guy" or “stuff”. ● No dialogues ● No contractions (e.g. can’t) Require- ments Students need to include the following: 1) Which two options you have chosen to mark this event. 2) How each suggestion would benefit the graduating students 3) How the school could organize and execute these ideas Exemplar of a Formal Letter by Cheng An Structure Remarks Format of formal letter: Designation, address, date, title, and other details are written as precisely as possible. Tan Chong An Class Chairman (4 Empathy) Blk 82 Jalan Nilai #14-58 Singapore 435082 2 August 2023 Name and Title here so no need to repeat in intro para Be sure to use an appropriate date Audience

Subject Mr Lee Han Hwa Principal St Andrew's Secondary School. 15 Francis Thomas Drive Singapore 359342 Dear Mr Lee, Proposal of Innovative Suggestions for the Graduation Event Don’t fook around with address Specify purpose of letter here TF1 TF2 After discussing with my classmates, I am confident these two ideas will make the upcoming graduation event a memorable one: photo booth and doodle message boards. Firstly, the photo booth – in allowing Saints to capture one of the best moments of their life – will enable them to cherish the last few moments they have with each other. We will all have a whale of our time bringing our inner childishness out as we creatively pose for the photographs. Furthermore, a picture speaks a thousand words. Although we will part ways after graduation, most of our hearts remain in the school. The photographs will allow our boys to reminisce their amazing school life and help reinforce the idea of "Once a Saint always a Saint” in years to come. Be brief. State the ideas plus reasons. Establish context Clear topic sentence Use of em-dash (complex punctuation) Use of sentence variety TF3 To set up the photo booth, I propose we tap on the expertise of Saints Media to help capture the joyful faces on that day. As the proud ex-Chairman of Saints Media, I can assure you that they have the state-of-the-art equipment to ensure the photographs are of the highest quality. Next, we could also invite Saints Drama to provide us with the props. Through the complementing roles of Saints Media and Saints Drama, the graduands will be satisfied with their captured moments. Apt information added to elaborate TF1 Secondly, the doodle message boards will give us graduands the golden opportunity to put our thoughts in words. We can spread our gratitude and words of encouragement for each other and our teachers. In this way, we can truly bring out the spirit of thanksgiving, a core value of our school. Moving on, with the necessary art equipment, Correct use of ordinal adverb

TF3 the boards will come alive. We just need to procure vinyl decals and chalk from the Art department. Lastly, it is best that the boards be placed on stage so as to capture everyone's attention. Summarise the ideas Thank the audience In conclusion, with the elements of fun and nostalgia, the photo booths and doodle message boards will aptly make the graduation event unique and memorable. I hope that you will consider these suggestions favourably. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to provide suggestions for the upcoming graduation event. Yours sincerely, [signature] Tan Chong An Need a signature Body text – 352 words [Perfect] Common Errors Task requirement: 1) Length. A formal letter cannot be too long. Keep the information succinct. 2) Do not lift chunks of information from the stimulus. Either rephrase or re-order the information. 3) Work on your handwriting and presentation skills- it was a painful experience trying to decipher your work. 4) Many boys did not elaborate on why and how the chosen idea makes it special and memorable for the graduation event. They merely state that taking photographs together will make it memorable and special. Some boys also wrote inappropriate elaborations such as the other boys might vandalize the photo booths. 5) Some boys also did not mention how the school could organize and execute these ideas. They need to work on the venue, the helpers such as the photographers or students from Saints Media to help in photo taking and other relevant details. 6) Some boys did not know how to write the proper addresses and some even used other names for the Principal of St Andrew’s Secondary School 7) A big number of boys did not use a subject line and were wasting words explaining why they’re writing the letter. Language: 1) Sentence Structures Many sentences were either fragmented or run-ons without appropriate punctuation. They also need to vary their sentence structure such as the use of rule of three or parallel structure sentences. 2) Avoid comma splice – too many commas used in a sentence. A sentence should not have more than two main points. Replace the comma with a full-stop, a semi-colon or a conjunction. 3) Avoid using an exclamation mark An exclamation mark suggests that the speaker is shouting. In a formal letter, you cannot shout at your Principal, especially.

4) Watch your tone Some students used words/phrases [‘a lot’, ‘stuff’] that made the tone less formal. Some also used contractions when they should not. Some were using too many questions in their proposal letter that it sounded like they were writing a speech instead. 5) Use of Ordinal Adverbs (‘Firstly’, ‘Secondly’ etc...) This is often misused. There must be an order or sequence in the points that are expressed. They cannot be used merely to number the p