2018 SASS 4E EL MYE P1 SectC w Ans

SASS 2018 MYE 4E5N Sample Essays for Paper 1 Qn 1: Describe a powerful performance you have watched or taken part in. Why was it so impactful for you? Being a huge heavy metal fan, my ambition in life is to be a musician. I have worked hard to master the art of playing the electric guitar, in my bedroom. Although I am still a student, my band have already performed at some of the biggest local festivals. Our big break came when we were invited to headline a massive show last December, opening for Arch Enemy from England. Two hours before, we had to set up our equipment on stage. As I entered the hall, I was dumbfounded. The venue was easily 10 times the size of our usual performance space. My legs began to wobble under the weight of the enormity of the task ahead. ‘For a mediocre guitarist, this is way out of your league,’ self-doubt engulfed me like a flame. Worst still, while standing on the stage, I was gripped by the fear of failing during the performance. One hour before, we were waiting anxiously to talk to Arch Enemy. As they entered from the back stage, I had a vision of some Bollywood film heroes strutting with style and poise. They were so cool, exuding a tremendous air of confidence. Words would not flow out from my mouth; I had to force myself to whisper ‘Hello’. I was star-struck. ‘Just do your thing, fellas,’ cooed Mark Arm the lead guitarist, after dishing out some useful tips on working the crowd and keeping our nerves in check. ‘Let’s pray,’ he continued. What an irony, praying in a metal performance! Five seconds before we entered the stage, I was expecting pin-drop silence as everyone had come for the main act. Boy, was I so wrong! Soon as we stepped up to take our instruments, the crowd went hysterical. The ocean of noisy chanting reverberating round the hall was supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. ‘Metal! Metal! Metal! Give us metal!’ Closing my eyes like I was in a trance, I struck the first note and I could feel the hall rattling like Godzilla was fighting with another monster. The audience was jumping up and down to the beat of our music. As we got pumped up with pure adrenaline gushing through our veins, we began to play with great aplomb. The jumping looked like sea waves and we felt like we were actually sailing in the sea, shouting out words of oppression, angst and pure anarchy. We were the prophets of doom. The stage was flooded with colours as strobe lights were flicking everywhere and people with epilepsy would have had a hard time there. When the performance ended, we were heartened to hear the crowd chanting ‘We want more!’ Looking back at this performance, I was thankful for the advice Mark had given me about the most difficult part – playing the solo. ‘Take the stage as your bedroom where you normally practise,’ he looked me in the eyes. ‘Suddenly, all your parts will be easy-peasy,’ he winked. That had made all the difference. Soon, the world will be my bedroom. (500 words) Written by: Puvnaram (5J1); Edited by: LSF (28.9% addition) Commented [WU1]: Context established Commented [WU2]: Play with countdown Commented [WU3]: Use of simile Commented [WU4]: Personification Commented [WU5]: Countdown Commented [WU6]: Imagery painted for readers to imagine Commented [WU7]: Use of humorous thought Commented [WU8]: Countdown Commented [WU9]: Fits the context – fun and ridiculous somewhat Commented [WU10]: Sound described Commented [WU11]: Hyperbole used to exaggerate Commented [WU12]: Contrast of long and short sentences Commented [WU13]: Reflection on the impact bit and also shows readers the real interaction with Mark Commented [WU14]: Reference back to the intro. Also a substitute for oyster as in ‘World is my oyster’. Fun. Worth a chuckle

SASS 2018 MYE 4E5N Sample Essays for Paper 1 Qn 2: Write about a time when you caused great difficulty to another person. What did you do about the situation? In our lives, there are heroes who are willing to suffer for our well-being. They are willing to overcome uphill task with much trouble and difficulty involved. We ought to salute them. Two years ago, I had an encounter with my hero. Gripping tightly to my umbrella, I brisk-walked under the torrential rain under the weight of my bag -- as heavy as 10 elephants. It was the first examination paper the following day and I wanted to return home as soon as possible to have ample time for revision. All of a sudden, I slipped and collapsed onto the ground -- only to feel excruciating pain below my left knee. ‘Ouch…!’ I yelled uncontrollably. Moments later, I heard footsteps and a voice asked, “Are you alright?” I could not reply but kept yelling. A pair of muscular arms swooped me up and I found myself being piggybacked by a burly schoolmate. ‘I’m Dan,’ he told me. ‘Let me take you to the clinic to get your wound bandaged.’ I could tell that it was not easy for him, despite being muscular, to carry my umbrella and two bags to the clinic. He was groaning consistently for 10 minutes of the journey. As we were metres away from the clinic, Dan’s groans turned into bad coughs. A wave of guilt hit me. What have I done to Dan? Dan accompanied me to see the doctor, who said that my injury was nothing to worry about. However, Dan was running a temperature and had fractured his neck badly that he was bawling his eyes out due to the pain that engulfed him. The doctor phoned an ambulance which escorted him to a hospital, while I made my way home with a mind full of idioms, proverbs, formulae and concepts -- all the while thankful that I was alive. While taking a short break from my revision at home, images of Dan flashed across my mind. At that instant, a sledgehammer hit me that I was the cause of Dan’s hospitalisation! I began to panic. I began to quake. I began to shiver. Would I have to pay for his hospitalisation? Would Dan hold a grudge against me for causing immense difficulty to his life? I kept fretting over the matter that some of my revision had gone to waste. I decided to visit Dan to apologise the next day, after my paper. Outside the hospital ward, Dan was grumbling about how much pain he was in, how he could not sit for his examination and how he had no access to his revision materials to his friends who had visited him. I was gutted. When his friends left, I entered the ward and made a humble apology. ‘Don’t apologise,’ Dan assured me. ‘It’s my pleasure help you.’ Although Dan had forgiven me, I am still guilty about causing too much trouble to him up to today. He is indeed my hero and his sacrificial deed will eternally be etched in my mind. (501 words) Written by: Isaac Lum (4SA); Edited by: LSF (5.9% addition) Commented [WU15]: Definition of heroes Commented [WU16]: Time clearly spelled out Commented [WU17]: Hyperbole Commented [WU18]: Describing sounds Commented [WU19]: We hear Dan Commented [WU20]: Pain described, bearing in mind question requirement Commented [WU21]: Problems Dan faced Commented [WU22]: Good show of contrast Commented [WU23]: Use of repetition for effect Commented [WU24]: Internal thoughts racing Commented [WU25]: More trouble caused to Dan Commented [WU26]: Back to idea of hero established in intro

SASS 2018 MYE 4E5N Sample Essays for Paper 1 Q3: ‘Cyberbullying is a big threat to youths today.’ What are your views? Cyberbullying is a huge problem today for youths, with at least one out of five Singaporean youths facing some form of harassment online. So, what makes cyberbullying such a pervasive ill of the internet? There are three main factors: Firstly, the ease of spreading falsified information; secondly, anonymity allowing users to behave as they wish; and lastly, herd mentality on the internet. Firstly, fake news -- a