EL P1 Effective Descriptions Notes

1 Name:____________________________ ( ) Date:________ Sec _________ Three steps for writing an effective description Write a description according to the following steps:  Decide on a dominant impression  Use vivid supporting details  Use Figurative language 1. Decide on a dominant impression The dominant impression is the one aspect or feature of what you want to describe – be it a person, a crowd, an object or an event. You will then write a topic sentence highlighting that feature. The topic sentence will also guide you on the type of details to be included in order to achieve your purpose. Here is an example: The Tiong Bahru neighbourhood park pulsates with life in the early hours of morning. While the sky is still dark, many elderly are already ma king a beeline from their neighbourhood precincts to the garden. At the far end of the garden, near the pond teeming with goldfish, a group of qigong practitioners with red top and white pants practise their fluid moves to the accompaniment of soothing Chi nese music, and the rhythmic call of “Hu…(exhale) and Xi…(inhale). There are about fifty of them in their synchronized exercise. Down the slope, atop a ziggurat like structure decorated with pretty pants are three middle ladies who groove to the blare of f ast beat music. Further down the garden, on concrete ground, about eight ladies practice a kind of Kung Fu fan dance, opening and closing their big red fans with aplomb. 2. Use vivid supporting details (Use your five senses) To write good descriptions, you need to record what you see, hear, taste, touch and smell (Use your five senses), which in turn evokes thoughts and feelings in you. It is important to give specific, concrete details and not vague ones. Vague: It was raining heavily Concrete: Drops of rain fell heavily from the dark grey clouds that loomed over me. It smelled clean and crisp like freshness from the mountains. I tightened my grip on my trusty bright cherry red umbrella as the beads of water fell. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the therapeutic sound of the water droplets pattering all around me. Vague: She was a small woman Concrete: Standing at a mere 1.4m and weighting a measly 35 kg, she had the height and weight of a primary four school girl, even though she was already forty. Vague: I bought a black bag Concrete: It is a black ladies’ document bag which I bought from Takashimaya. I made sure it was capacious enough to take the weight of all my files and books. There was a front zipped compartment with smart vertical lines. The main compartments are divided into two, one broader and the other narrower. Another section secured by Velcro and a zip can be found at the back. The leather handles give a good smooth feel, and very importantly, there is a nicely contoured shoulder piece for the long black straps.

2 3. Use Figurative Language Comparisons by way of figurative language such as similes and metaph