EL P1 Effective Descriptions Notes

1 Name:____________________________ ( ) Date:________ Sec _________ Three steps for writing an effective description Write a description according to the following steps:  Decide on a dominant impression  Use vivid supporting details  Use Figurative language 1. Decide on a dominant impression The dominant impression is the one aspect or feature of what you want to describe – be it a person, a crowd, an object or an event. You will then write a topic sentence highlighting that feature. The topic sentence will also guide you on the type of details to be included in order to achieve your purpose. Here is an example: The Tiong Bahru neighbourhood park pulsates with life in the early hours of morning. While the sky is still dark, many elderly are already ma king a beeline from their neighbourhood precincts to the garden. At the far end of the garden, near the pond teeming with goldfish, a group of qigong practitioners with red top and white pants practise their fluid moves to the accompaniment of soothing Chi nese music, and the rhythmic call of “Hu…(exhale) and Xi…(inhale). There are about fifty of them in their synchronized exercise. Down the slope, atop a ziggurat like structure decorated with pretty pants are three middle ladies who groove to the blare of f ast beat music. Further down the garden, on concrete ground, about eight ladies practice a kind of Kung Fu fan dance, opening and closing their big red fans with aplomb. 2. Use vivid supporting details (Use your five senses) To write good descriptions, you need to record what you see, hear, taste, touch and smell (Use your five senses), which in turn evokes thoughts and feelings in you. It is important to give specific, concrete details and not vague ones. Vague: It was raining heavily Concrete: Drops of rain fell heavily from the dark grey clouds that loomed over me. It smelled clean and crisp like freshness from the mountains. I tightened my grip on my trusty bright cherry red umbrella as the beads of water fell. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the therapeutic sound of the water droplets pattering all around me. Vague: She was a small woman Concrete: Standing at a mere 1.4m and weighting a measly 35 kg, she had the height and weight of a primary four school girl, even though she was already forty. Vague: I bought a black bag Concrete: It is a black ladies’ document bag which I bought from Takashimaya. I made sure it was capacious enough to take the weight of all my files and books. There was a front zipped compartment with smart vertical lines. The main compartments are divided into two, one broader and the other narrower. Another section secured by Velcro and a zip can be found at the back. The leather handles give a good smooth feel, and very importantly, there is a nicely contoured shoulder piece for the long black straps.

2 3. Use Figurative Language Comparisons by way of figurative language such as similes and metaphors will add lustre to your descriptions. The simile is a comparison that uses ‘like’ or ‘as’. The metaphor does not make use of ‘like’ and ‘as’ Metaphor A figure of speech that makes an implied comparison between two things that maybe unrelated but share some similarities Simile A figure of speech that makes a comparison using the words ‘like’ and ‘as’ Personification A figure of speech that gives human qualities to an object or an idea.  Singapore is a melting pot of cultures.  There are many different cultures in Singapore.  He hung his head down like a dying flower.  He was dejected.  The trees swayed in unison  The wind blew and the trees moved.  She is the black sheep of the family  She is the disfavoured member of the family  She has a temper like a volcano  She gets angry easily  The dry lawn was begging for water in the drought.  The grass was dry. HOW TO STRUCTURE YOUR ESSAY  Spatial order  Chronological order  Order of importance Spatial order Top to bottom Left to right Front to back For example, if you want to describe your room, you could start from the door and work your way through to the middle of the room and then the end of the room. Use the following transition words to signal direction: above, around, below, behind, beside, next to, in front, back of, under Example 1: Describe your bedroom Located next to the entrance of my room is an antique slab of wood with four sturdy legs supporting it, also known as my study table. Most of the time, I treat it as if it is invisible. Instead I frequent what is beside it – my cozy bed where I am often engulfed by the softest and fluffiest cotton comforter which I use as a shield from the word. Chronological order Arrange details according to time. It works best in describing an event It fits naturally because when we tell a story, we often tell it in the order that the events occur. Use the following transition words to show time order: next, then, later, that evening, finally, tomorrow, meanwhile.

3 Example 2: Describe the worst day of your life The worst day of my life occurred three weeks ago . It began one morning at 7.48am when I woke up to a high pithed squeak. Next, I got out of bed only to discover a rat-infested room. The repulsive pests were scampering on the marbled tiled floor as I shrieked in fear and trepidation and cried out to my y ounger brother for help. Meanwhile, my ludicrous brother was preparing a feast for the revolting creatures. The little rascal entered room, planted cubes of expensive cheese on the bed and scurried away just like a rat. The next thing I knew, the furry ani mals were on my bed and I lost consciousness shortly after. Order of importance Put the most important details at the beginning or the end. It works best for describing people of objects. You should either begin your essay with the most important detail at the front and the least important detail at the end or put the least important detail at the start and save the most important detail for the last. Use the following transition words to show order of importance: the most, primarily, foremost, one reason is that, most significantly Example 3: Describe a person you admire. One person whom I admire is Yuko Nakazawa, who is the founder and CEO of UPQ. UPQ produces cool electronic gadgets, better known as ‘Japan Xiaomi’. From sleek smartphones to transparent touchscreen keyboards, the products Yuko has helped to design and launch are really unique! What I find most significant about her is her courage in pursing her interests. In 2012, she left her job as a product planner for a smartphone company and used her savings to start her own café. This was because she wanted to create something original for others to enjoy. Similarly, this motivated her to launch UPQ. More importantly, seeing how she fearlessly pursued her interests with such determination inspires me to do the same. Essay question: Describe the possession that matters most to you and explain why you would never be prepared to part with it. My house is simply furnished. Nothing extravagant. Marble floor tiles cover the perimeters of the rooms. A television with a huge black casing at the back forms the only form of entertainment for the family. The entire house runs like a well -oiled machine, with daily routines set by my stalwart and punctilious mother. My sister and I share a room where I spend most afternoons. Cocooned from the hustle and bustle of the world, I like to prop myself against a pillow and read a book. Sometimes, I would simply lie on my mattress, soaking in the fragrance of freshly pressed sheets and drift into a rever ie. In contrast, the kitchen is a daily battlefield. Constant and inane bickering takes place between my grandparents over cooking styles. From a young age, I have learnt that it is ne